


Stone Cold

by unitchiefwives



Series: Jemily Song-Fics [1]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Song fic, stone cold
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-03-30 21:49:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19036249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unitchiefwives/pseuds/unitchiefwives
Summary: A song-fic based off of Demi Lovato's Stone Cold with Emily's feelings and struggles at JJ's wedding. It's short and angsty.





	Stone Cold

“Stone cold, stone cold  
You see me standing, but I'm dying on the floor  
Stone cold, stone cold  
Maybe if I don't cry, I won't feel any more”

Emily watched as JJ and Will were dancing their first dance as a married couple. In the midst of it all, the blonde turned directly to her with a saddened smile that soon became a real one. JJ had thought that Emily had moved on because if she couldn’t then at least Emily did. Sadly though, that wasn’t the case. The brunette was deep in thought staring at the blonde with an almost glued smile to her face because she wanted to seem okay, she wanted JJ to be happy and if she couldn’t be the one then Will was the next best.  
On the inside, Emily was dying as she just watched them laugh and smile and tell each other cute little things because she knew she loved her more than he did. After catching herself, she realized how selfish she was being and hid those thoughts down deeper. As she pushed the selfish thoughts further down, she started to get teary-eyed. Luckily it was a wedding and everyone around her thought they were happy tears. Little did they know that it was tears of sadness that she wasn’t good enough.

It’s funny because Emily had tried as hard as she could to get rid of the feelings for her best friend but for some reason they never left. So here she was, at her best friends wedding, trying not to leave because she knew how important being there was to JJ, while also suffering because she knew she should be the one up there with her.  
The tears got worse so she stepped to the side so no one would see her. She gathered herself and realized that at this point, feeling nothing was better than feeling anything. She had to make it through this wedding somehow. So taking the easiest, yet not healthiest way out, she took her feelings and shoved them into a little box in her mind and was feeling absolutely nothing. At this moment she became a robot with a smile on, it was what she did best.  


"Stone cold, baby God knows I tried to feel  
Happy for you  
Know that I am, even if I  
Can't understand, I'll take the pain  
Give me the truth, me and my heart  
We'll make it through  
If happy is her, I'm happy for you”

Walking back to the dance floor where everyone was, she got asked to dance by all the handsome men on the team. She went through the line of them but when she got to Reid, she couldn’t hide anything due to his prying. It wasn’t because he was curious...it was more so because he was worried. He looked her in the eyes with a questioning look, “Are you okay?” trying to hide it Emily bit her lip nervously and answered, “Yeah Spence, why wouldn’t I be?” he knew her ticks but it wasn’t until he saw the way Emily looked at JJ. He knew exactly what was going on.

Giving her a small spin, he gracefully brought her back in and they connected hands. He looked at JJ then back at Emily, “I know you love her, how are you doing this Emily?” the brunette looked down for a few seconds, “I’m trying to be happy for her Spence.” she took a big gasp, “It’s all I can do because I love her so much that I just want her to be happy, even if it isn’t with me. I don’t really understand why she chose him but I have to try to accept it.”

He could see the sadness in her eyes and it hurt him to see her like this, he’s seen it before too. When JJ and Will were flirting, when they became official, when they told the team about Henry, and now at this moment when the two were a done deal. He was still curious and worried so he continued to ask questions, “Isn’t this painful for you?” Emily sarcastically chuckled, “Yeah...very, but I can take it, I can take anything for her.” She pulled in closer to him and talked very quietly, “At least now though, I know the truth about how she feels and I can try to heal even though I’ve been failing at that since I met her.” 

Holding Emily close he squeezed and gave her a hug, “Emily, please tell me you’ll eventually be happy?” she rested her head against his chest, “Her happy is him, so if she’s happy…then I’m happy.” knowing that wasn’t true, Spencer was about to say something. He quickly realized though that if he said anything right now then it wouldn’t be worth it and it would change nothing. He continued to dance with her until she didn’t want to anymore because this would also be his last time to see her before she moved. 

“Stone cold, stone cold  
You're dancing with her, while I'm staring at my phone  
Stone cold, stone cold  
I was your amber, but now she's your shade of gold”

After leaving Reid she went over to the side as Will and JJ were still dancing. Pulling out her phone she saw a notification from Clyde about her new position in INTERPOL. Truth was, ever since she came back things in her life had been falling apart and the FBI just wasn’t her home anymore. She didn’t feel herself. She’d be lying if she said it wasn’t partially because of JJ, but the blonde was only a small tiny part of it. Honestly, Emily didn’t know if she could handle seeing her every day knowing she had no chance. They messed around a lot, but now that was going to be over because now things were official and Emily did not want to be a home wrecker because she loved Henry as her own and he didn’t deserve that, no kid does.

It’s funny, Henry actually was closest to the brunette out of all the team and Emily wasn’t even his godmother. She did feel bad about that though, leaving Henry...at least there was Skype. She went into the app and made sure she had JJ and Will’s info in there just for Henry’s sake. She clicked on JJ’s account and saw the messages they used to send. She couldn’t believe that she was once the center of the blonde’s universe, besides Henry of course. It wasn’t even him being born that was the turning point, it was honestly probably her choosing to go to London instead of staying. Once JJ even thought the brunette would go, she cut contact and fast...that was only a few days ago too. The brunette put her phone away and once again compartmentalized her feelings because thinking about how she used to be JJ’s number one and how that’s now Will, wasn’t helping at all. 

“Don't wanna be stone cold, stone  
I wish I could mean this but here's my goodbye  
Oh, I'm happy for you  
Know that I am, even if I  
Can't understand  
If happy is her, if happy is her  
I'm happy for you”

Walking onto the dance floor once again, she was grabbed by Penelope and dragged to JJ so they could all dance together. By this time Emily was nothing but stone, that was until she came face to face with JJ. She kept things hidden as Penelope was there but for some reason, the perky blonde decided to leave them alone to dance after being with them for a bit. Emily grabbed JJ’s back, and JJ grabbed Emily’s waist as they connected hands. 

It wasn’t until Emily looked into her blue eyes that she crack just a little bit, and JJ saw it. She pulled Emily in close, “It’s okay, I’m still here Em.” the brunette tried to be as emotionless as possible and JJ wasn’t gonna go through this bullshit so she pulled her back in close and whispered in her ear, “Emily, talk to me.” 

Taking a sniff, Emily finally got herself together in front of JJ and whispered in her ear, “After everything, I really don’t think you are here for me. All that aside though, I’m really happy for you J. Even if I don’t get it….if he makes you happy, then I’m happy.” JJ slowly pulled apart and looked here dead in the eyes as they were almost forehead to forehead, “Do you mean it?” she was being as sincere as possible. Emily looked away then back at her, “I wish I could, but I wanted to leave us off with a good goodbye.” she got close and kissed JJ on the cheek before whispering, “I love you.” and walking off. 

With already saying her goodbyes to her other teammates, she walked out and left. Right before leaving Rossi’s backyard she turned around and saw JJ standing in the middle of the dance floor frozen watching her leave with sadness in her eyes. Turning back around and for once making a decision for herself, she left and hoped to never look back again. 

Little did she know that about a year later, she still wouldn’t be over her feelings and she’d be back to help find the love of her life. JJ had to be...Emily had felt feelings for a lot of people but they all went away but with JJ, they just wouldn’t leave. Apparently, with even being married...JJ’s feelings never left either. If only they weren’t so stubborn to not realize how the other truly felt.


End file.
